Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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