Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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