covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
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