Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
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