we have officially mastered the walk of shame
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
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