But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Randomize
