it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
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