I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
