we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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