Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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