sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
