I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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