She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
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