you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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