Jerry, you need to find god
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
