His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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