Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
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