i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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