hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
