Porn is love you can see.
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Randomize
