i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize
