Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
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