The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Randomize
