we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
