I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
