you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Randomize
