Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
