That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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