You're my little dorito
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Randomize
