ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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