she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
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