On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
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