Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize