Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
