I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize
