white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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