you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
