If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
