And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Randomize
