is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
