How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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