At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
