I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Randomize
