Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
