Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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