Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Randomize
