I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Randomize
