Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
