I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
