you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Randomize
