I don't think brook has ever known best
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
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