Your tits are I can't wait for
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize
