This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
