Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Randomize
