I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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