we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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