I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
