How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize