Please, let me fuck your mom
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
