So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
